Life after death
Former Pacific mother, employee and parent moves on after a personal battle with illness and the death of a sister and son
Alana Kansaku-Sarmiento
Issue date: 5/14/09 Section: Student Life
"Throughout the summer before I left, I remember Eric talking about how important football was," said Aaron. "When I went down, I was homesick, I didn't know anybody, and our [practices] were very draining. I remember calling him up, and he said, 'You can't quit, football is cool; you gotta stick with it.' I'm glad I did."
After transferring to Pacific, Aaron was constantly found at his brother's bedside. As much as Aaron's presence comforted the Ross's, Pam mentioned one thing that helped her cope with the loss of Eric: the death of her sister nearly two decades prior.
Cheryl Ross, who also attended Pacific University, was murdered in 1973 at the age of 26 by her then-boyfriend, who was a diagnosed schizophrenic.
"To be honest with you, losing my sister prepared me for being better able to cope with Eric's situation and being a better mom for Aaron," said Ross. "My mom kind of left the planet [when my sister died, so] I knew what it was like to be the sibling left behind.
"The Lord does it for a reason and we grow from it, and over time we may know why."
Ross and her sister Cheryl, who both grew up in the Forest Grove/Cornelius area, studied at Pacific University together for free since their mother worked for the school of optometry. However, it was only a year and a half into her education before Ross left for Eugene where her high school sweetheart, Jim, was attending the University of Oregon.
"I wanted to get married, so I followed him to Eugene, thinking he'd get the hint - and he did!" said Ross. "My goal was always to be a mother and raise children who had compassion for their fellow man. Well, I was successful."
When asked how he viewed his parents handling Eric's situation, Aaron had nothing but praise.
"I think they dealt with it very well," he said. "I think they were more involved than many other parents would have been with the care of Eric."
Seven years after the death of their son, Pam and Jim decided to move to Bend in 2001 where they live in a log cabin-style home that they designed themselves.
The battle, however, is never over. Four years ago Pam Ross was diagnosed with breast cancer.
"I had surgery, then they put me in chemo for four months and radiation for two months, then that was that," said Ross matter-of-factly, sharing that her cancer disappeared after the treatments. However, Ross received news three months ago that the cancer may have returned.
"My radiologist and oncologist think that it's now in my lungs," she said. "I think it's pepperoni. My doctor didn't think that was too funny."
Ross will be heading to Seattle soon for a second opinion. Rather than worry, Ross, who retired in August, 2008, is occupying herself with some of her favorite pastimes.
"I'm really excited because I can get out and do some yard-work," said Ross, seated in a recliner in her decorated living room. "I ordered some nice flowers. They should be beautiful, as long as the deer don't eat them up."
After transferring to Pacific, Aaron was constantly found at his brother's bedside. As much as Aaron's presence comforted the Ross's, Pam mentioned one thing that helped her cope with the loss of Eric: the death of her sister nearly two decades prior.
Cheryl Ross, who also attended Pacific University, was murdered in 1973 at the age of 26 by her then-boyfriend, who was a diagnosed schizophrenic.
"To be honest with you, losing my sister prepared me for being better able to cope with Eric's situation and being a better mom for Aaron," said Ross. "My mom kind of left the planet [when my sister died, so] I knew what it was like to be the sibling left behind.
"The Lord does it for a reason and we grow from it, and over time we may know why."
Ross and her sister Cheryl, who both grew up in the Forest Grove/Cornelius area, studied at Pacific University together for free since their mother worked for the school of optometry. However, it was only a year and a half into her education before Ross left for Eugene where her high school sweetheart, Jim, was attending the University of Oregon.
"I wanted to get married, so I followed him to Eugene, thinking he'd get the hint - and he did!" said Ross. "My goal was always to be a mother and raise children who had compassion for their fellow man. Well, I was successful."
When asked how he viewed his parents handling Eric's situation, Aaron had nothing but praise.
"I think they dealt with it very well," he said. "I think they were more involved than many other parents would have been with the care of Eric."
Seven years after the death of their son, Pam and Jim decided to move to Bend in 2001 where they live in a log cabin-style home that they designed themselves.
The battle, however, is never over. Four years ago Pam Ross was diagnosed with breast cancer.
"I had surgery, then they put me in chemo for four months and radiation for two months, then that was that," said Ross matter-of-factly, sharing that her cancer disappeared after the treatments. However, Ross received news three months ago that the cancer may have returned.
"My radiologist and oncologist think that it's now in my lungs," she said. "I think it's pepperoni. My doctor didn't think that was too funny."
Ross will be heading to Seattle soon for a second opinion. Rather than worry, Ross, who retired in August, 2008, is occupying herself with some of her favorite pastimes.
"I'm really excited because I can get out and do some yard-work," said Ross, seated in a recliner in her decorated living room. "I ordered some nice flowers. They should be beautiful, as long as the deer don't eat them up."
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